After the words landed on the page i realised it was possible all of us may like to read a few of them. They were shared in the context that somehow, in our own unique ways, we are all juggling life. We all dance with how to live a life deeply connected to those we love while also balancing our contributions and purpose…….

“Spaciousness seems to be a common dance for the feminine, our empathic loving hearts yearn to be of service to all. It’s the hours in our human days that seem the challenge. In a conversation i once shared with a buddhist nun i told her that to me, she always felt like a lake of calm. Her response offered a giggle and a sense of hope for my own life. She said most days a part of her actually felt like a duck on that lake of calm. While on the surface she was serene and gracious, under the water her little legs were paddling full steam.”

More times than not my little legs are also paddling, diligently swimming and surrendering the best i can so i too may retain a sense of balance. I look out into the world and see amazing women that inspire me, that seem to have some super human power of ‘having it all together’, and i remind myself, its possible, just like me, that they too have days their little legs are frantically working to keep life afloat and in balance.

Each of us are doing our best. Lets slow the paddle and enjoy the lake of calm whenever the chance arises. Enjoy your week beautiful people.

With love and kindness from my heart, KMF xo

The post A little excerpt from a letter i wrote this week… i thought you might enjoy this story too. appeared first on Kate M Foster.

This past week i have been reflecting on the kindness of others. I have been inundated with snail mail, cooked meals, warm conversations, friendly smiles and my husband even returned home with some wildflowers. My life is immeasurably blessed. And these blessings got me reflecting on the moments that have impacted or changed my life the most. And every single one of these moments have been where others chose to bring kindness, to show up and share generously their time, words or service.

Blessing others has a funny way of rubbing off on all involved.

Its not every week I get inundated with external worldly blessings like i mentioned above. Life has many seasons. Regardless of how it looks, i rest in the beauty of my life, i love it entirely and i intend to share this joy with the whole world if they want it!

In the everyday rhythm of living i focus on what my mama taught me when i was little. If you want kindness, you have to bring it. (This applies to most things: Happiness, love, peace etc). We need to embody what we yearn for most. We need to be the person we wish was there for us. We need to share the kindness we may love to receive, offer the support we know buoys and nourishes our life.

Because in some strange way it doesn’t matter which way kindness is flowing, the simple fact is that when someone brings it, the likely hood is that ‘kindness’ will find a way to infect almost everyone nearby. Even if i witness random strangers being blessed by others, i feel warm and fuzzy and grateful.

Have a beautiful week brave hearts. Keep sharing what you yearn for most. Planetary happiness really does depend on each of us. Now more than ever its important to remember we are the ones we have been waiting for!! Get gifting your gifts! The time is now.

With love and kindness from my heart, xo.

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Look closely at this picture. It explains love. I was sad when I found my broken cup. Tea is a ritual in our home. I have treasured every tea I’ve had in it. I wasn’t ready to let it go. Almost defiantly I left the broken remnants on the bench to contemplate the next step…

I busied myself with cleaning and errands. Miss four interrupted asking for tape. I contemplated saying no as I was busy and it felt inconvenient yet I took a deep breath and rummaged through my Tetris caravan cupboards to find it. 10 or 15 minutes later I enquired what she was doing with the scissors and tape and with big joyful eyes she smiled and presented me with my cup. It’s all fixed mama. Bless her heart, it was completely sticky taped together. Even the gaping hole in the bottom had tape clumsily hanging over it.

The whole world opened to me in that moment and I remembered the truth of life.

Our innocents hearts are the same.

Eternally loving, infinitely giving, courageously vulnerable, showing up to perform the impossible.

May we all be blessed with innocent hearts.

Love and kindness ❤️KMF

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For countless years I searched for love, wanted to be loved, wanted to be cherished and all at the same time didn’t understand what vulnerability was required to actually become saturated with that juicy goodness.

The world in addition to the countless Disney movies I consumed taught me love was meant to feel good, if it didn’t feel good it wasn’t love. And love most definitely was an outside job. For love to be real it must come from someone or something outside my own shadow filled self. It must be profound, convenient and clearly labelled, these were the kinds of things that I believed made love real.

(For the record let me be clear here when i speak about love not always feeling good, I am in no way referring to any kind of violence. Violence, emotional, physical or any other kind is NEVER ok and absolutely NOT any part of love. It must not be tolerated, accepted or hidden. Ever. Ever.)

When I speak of the parts of love that don’t feel good what I am referring to is the willingness inside myself to move towards those aspects of myself I found and sometimes still find undesirable. You see it would have been highly convenient if the world or someone else could love those undesirable bits of me so i could feel good, accepted, valued, beautiful, enough. I wanted my worthiness to come from an external source.  An external person. An external thing. (Addiction lives here). And although sometimes love can be reflected back to us by something outside of ourselves, it is only ever a signpost back to the truth of what is already in existence inside of us. Love is an inside job, any other version rarely lasts long.

Some of my demands were for someone to love and cherish me the way I deserved. And the shit storm started there. Because when someone does love and support you so entirely and you still feel unworthy, you have the opportunity to turn and face the truth, to run or to suffer. There is no where else to hide. If every external demand you have made has been met and you are still not happy, its time to face the music. The internal music. The song that never ends.

That’s what i call the hot seat. This hot seat is the invitation you have been waiting for your whole life. It’s your deepest yearning to get real and honest and messy so you can make friends with your own internal chaos. But more about that in my upcoming book.

What I can share with you now is this.

By turning towards all that petrified me about myself, by finding the courage to sit and make friends with my yucky icky undesirable shame filled bits, this divine man appeared in my life. And when he appeared I turned towards myself, and him.

He showed up and I let him in. In doing so I stood far beyond any confines of comfort I had ever known in my life. It hasn’t changed.

I vulnerably love with all my being and at the same time i know it is 100 percent guaranteed one of us will leave the other. That happens to everyone we know and love. We leave each other. We all eventually have to farewell this life. Our time is finite.

So when he pulls over in the car and wanders off into a paddock I wait. I sit, I weave and reflect. And when he appears back at the side of the car with these in his hands love leaks out my eyes. I see him. I love. I let that love in. It breaks me. And in my sacred brokenness my light floods out and touches the world.

My heart is willing to make friends with my sharp corners and from there I can be that big warm hug the world is desperate for.

I show up,

In love and service,

K xoxo

The post Letting Love In… appeared first on Kate M Foster.

My message is this:

Show up.

Be kind to yourself.

Be kind to others.

Its that simple.

Remember life is not as complicated as we pretend it to be.

The post The simple Truth. appeared first on Kate M Foster.

Her way was strong and clear and kind. She spoke her mind, she helped whoever was in front of her and she had an unshakable faith in Christ. Her Christianity wasn’t just the clean idealistic kind. Her faith was deeply rooted in showing up, getting her hands dirty, feeding mouths and healing wounds. She had a resilience and stamina rare in today’s world. Despite all she endured her kindness and loving heart remained the forefront of her life’s work, her soft blue ocean eyes never hardened, they looked at you with a love so deep its presence is forever etched in my being.

Her long life meant she farewelled so many of her loved ones and her ever present faith was the way she navigated this rich messy world.

When I visited her a few months back we both knew it would be the last time we would see each other. My mum, the girls and I baked her a cake as we always did when we were home, we had a tea party in her honour, she shared stories of her youth and we all shared words about the things we loved about her. I made times to visit her without the girls so we could talk about her faith and Jesus and what she felt about dying. She shared what she believed would happen. I asked her if she had regrets or if there was anything she felt ashamed about and we cried together as she shared she felt responsible for her mothers passing. She believed that if she had gone in to her mother earlier that morning long ago, she would not have fallen and broken her hip.

Even in that last visit she was teaching me with her enormous heart. Each of us carries hidden guilt and shame. I can only pray that at the end of my life I have as few regrets as she did.

It’s hard for me to fathom the way this life just comes to an end. From when I was young I always loved my time with Aunty Jean. Horses and animals and gardening and feeding the birds. We were equally as comfortable in silence or sharing and she gave me hope for the grown up I could one day become. She helped me set my bar of goodness and service and truth high, really high.

And she showed up like clockwork. Diligent, willing, able.

My last visit with her was so bittersweet, yet somehow her trust in this whole ‘life’ thing pulled me into her peace. She was surrendered. She did it her way. When the time came for me to leave her house that last day, as always she rose to walk me to the door. I shared I’d rather her rest as I would hate to be responsible for her falling over. She gave me a lecture about how I would not be responsible for her breaking a hip, that these things just happen and then we both laughed and cried some more and I like to think she made a bit more peace about her own mothers fall.

Sitting here today, I’m thinking of her sons, and their families, and the countless others that benefited from her loving kindness. All those that were blessed by her ocean eyes and strong healing hands. It’s hard to write through my tears. I think of my dad and the way his own mother was never able to offer him love or kindness and how Aunty Jean stepped into that role and loved him with the purity of her whole heart. Her love touched him with the motherly love he had not known. Aunty jeans love taught me the truth of mothers. A mothers infinite love is not bound to her own offspring, for love is not bound at all.

My dads love and loyalty to aunty Jean is immeasurable. I have no doubt her love will live on in him and countless others for the rest of their lives.

This is the truth of love. It shows up with open arms even, it’s not afraid of broken. It blesses with its grace.

It’s true that this life is brutal and hard and that at some point we all have to farewell 100% of the people we love. It is also true this life is rich and indescribably beautiful because of the kindness and love and generosity of humans like Aunty Jean.

I have no doubt when she passed she met her beloved Jesus in that bright light she spoke of that day. I pray that the love she left behind continues to love and heal and guide for infinite lifetimes to come.

Bless you Aunty Jean and thank you dear lady, the pleasure of your company was all mine Xxoo

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It was a chapter where my girlfriends were everything. They were my support, my inspiration, my confidantes and my encouragement. They challenged me to grow beyond my awareness and abilities. They laughed with me. Cried with me. They lived the questions of life alongside my growing fragile heart. We traded stories and tears and food and dreams. We imagined what was to come and invested heart-fulls of possibility into how we thought the future would unfold for each of us. Those days were precious and at the time I thought they would go on for ever.

The thing is, they didn’t.

Fast forward a decade or so and life is very different. Life has been richer and more colourful than I ever imagined possible. This sacred sisterhood helped me navigate my teens, twenties, thirties, marriages, divorce, separation, children, loss and losing loved ones to suicide. We have each had to say goodbye to precious people way too soon. Our hearts have broken and mended more times than I can count. We have fallen and risen and fallen again.

For the most part those of us still living check in as often as we can. We balance our own families and extended families and partners families and friends and children and careers and volunteer jobs and homes and gardens and communities all while doing our best to stay connected to our own hearts and the dreams we planted in them long ago.

Truthfully, life continues to get better. And by better I mean more fulfilling and beautiful. At the same time my responsibilities have increased many times over. I have so many people to consider with every decision I make its taken me years to remember I actually have permission to consider me too.

This dance, this rich, fulfilling everything I ever dreamt of responsibility dance fills every moment of my day. I am fulfilled. I am stretched. I am thankful and content.

I still have the same number of moments in each day, yet the smorgasbord of options to share those moments with has expanded exponentially.

So, sitting here, glancing you three across the room melted my heart. The beauty of the chapter you are living made my eyes leak. And the beauty of this chapter I am living does the same.

Sometimes I watch my mum and her girlfriends. They have entered a chapter I am yet to arrive in and know very little about. I notice how they are always laughing and I wonder if I’ve become a bit too serious. I remember how in an earlier chapter of my life, exploring with my girlfriends, I was so quick to laugh. If I’m truthful that chapter of deep exploration also contained a bathtub of tears too. And while this current chapter of life is ever so constant, and we don’t see each other as much as we used too, we each do our best to carve out sacred time to share together. And dreaming forward as our little ones grow I’ve got to wondering if a version of that spacious life will come again? I’d love another chapter with my precious girlfriends where we have freedom to plan road trips and festivals and adventures. One where we can reminisce about the previous chapter of our life that was full of little children, unending juggling and responsibilities, yet somehow deeply sacred while it swallowed every waking moment.

So whatever chapter you find yourself in, may you be blessed. May you have the support and encouragement and the belief of other women. And even if you stand alone may you remember there are countless women behind you, me included. We are trusting you. Believing for you. Encouraging you and counting on you to show up brave and real.

Be blessed my dears,
All love ❤️
Bless you three beauties, please write to me if you ever read this xoxo

And Thank you, AGAIN, with all my heart.

(The Vegie Bar, Brunswick Street, Fitzroy Victoria).

The post A window through time… appeared first on Kate M Foster.

It was hard because alongside their accusations I had my own ‘what is the meaning of life thing’ going on. To be honest I can’t remember a time I wasn’t asking myself who I was? Questioning what this whole shebang of a life is about. What is the meaning of it all? And what is my place in it? And how do I serve the world without rocking the boat and being judged?

Mostly the common line of accusations and questions from the kids perplexed me because:
a) I knew part of me was whatever God was, so of course I was special.
b) They too were made of this same sacred source, them and I were entirely the same and I had no sense of feeling ‘more than’ or ‘ better than’ any of them.
And
c) When I would speak up about this sacred equality the rebuke of ‘listen to how you sound’ or ‘sure, you just walk like you’re better than the rest of us’ and similar would fly back at me.

Regardless of my efforts I could never convey the sense of sacred equality I felt with the whole world, at least not in a way they could understand.

So I started writing. I wrote to that divine source I didn’t entirely understand. And I listened for answers.

And I set about the business of playing it small. Not speaking up. If the mere presence of my voice, something I had no control over the sound of, was making people feel inferior then I better shut up. Keep quiet. Not stand out.

And this worked for a while.

Hiding does.

Yet hiding is never a permanent fix. It only works until life’s patience runs out.
Some of life’s plans for me were relentless spiritual seeking and study, reflection and even deeper questioning. I started 10 day silent retreats when I was 20. And for the first time I really understood that silence and being alone was my medicine. Gee maybe it’s even the worlds medicine.

Over the years Ive remembered many things about the truth of life and of course I’ve made peace with living in my own skin.

My voice, I’m so thankful for it. It’s one of the ways I share with the world. My walk, it’s taken me all over this precious earth, and in each place I’ve visited, I’ve shared kindness and love while serving and benefiting others.

Sometimes the remnants of these childhood experiences still guide me to new insights.
As I draw closer to 40 and step into a deeper role of teaching and serving the world I’ve been reflecting on what’s changing within my awareness.

When I look at the world I still see fragments of the divine. Each person a manifestation of truth. However I’m understanding more and more how we are all in different stages of remembering. So while we may all be equal, we all don’t know this to be true.

And this is why I teach. This is why I create sacred space and offer workshops and retreats. Why I share my heart daily. Why I show up vulnerable and real and write and speak.

Because my life purpose is to embody truth and share that with everyone, reflecting wakefulness through each phase and season of life.

Yes it takes courage for to be seen. To be heard. Yet I believe all beings are destined for liberation, me included and so my commitment is to be in service of all.

My invitation to the world is this. Draw near. You have full permission to remember. Come, I offer you all that I am. Share with me. Travel alongside me. Take what you wish from my offerings and leave the rest. All you need do is take the next natural step. And in return for your courage I dedicate and offer my entire existence to serving all beings, for this life and all future lifetimes if they come about. I am unwavering in my dedication.

This I know to be truth.

So whenever you are ready, I’m here.

See you on the road my friend ❤️

The post This I know to be Truth. appeared first on Kate M Foster.

It’s true, my gifts are not better than anyone else’s, and measuring myself against any other human is never going to end well. There are millions if not billions of people with greater insight, grace, compassion, wisdom, workshops, books, the list goes on.
Maybe I am foolish for baring my heart each day, unleashing my fragile revelations into the ethers to be carved up by the masses. God knows I am judged, hell I even judge myself.

The truth is this, I do have a choice. I can silence myself, spiral inwards and downwards and turn against myself….   Or I can choose to show up vulnerable, to keep getting my brave on, to continue nakedly and foolishly offering what I have each moment as the most precious gift I can share. I call it ‘showing up anyway’. Its me, raw and real and often inadequately messy yet so holy divinely devoted to serve with every cell of my being.

So don’t come to me seeking perfection. Don’t expect infallible wisdom. Rather come with all of your vulnerabilities, your questions, your willingness, your fragile messy hearts and together we can explore and remember that which we never truly forgot in the first place.

No one has life sorted all the time. We are not meant to. We are the seasons and our only job is to not turn from whatever weather we find ourselves in.

Tonight I face the winds of change. I know not what they bring. I’m showing up anyway. Fragile, uncertain, scared, doubtful, real, willing, dedicated and brave. You see a queen wears her crown regardless of weather and I’ve got that damn thing on, shiny, wobbly, visible.

I look forward to seeing you out there fellow traveller, I need you, your brave heart inspires me, it encourages me onwards. Together we’ve got this ❤️ xox

June Sunshine Coast Workshop details coming soon…

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(I just discovered these reflections on moving out of our home and reinventing our life. It was written at the end of last year. I often write my way through chapters. You are welcome to read and harvest what you wish.)

I’m at that pointy end of the deal where there is the hugest, fattest invitation to get involved with my thoughts… To entertain them, get intimate with them, believe them, serenade them, define myself by them and most of all, to pick them up and run like hell down God knows what track at a break necking pace, doubting myself and questioning my sanity while carrying them on my shoulders.

But, I’ve been there, and done that run more times than I could count. And while in my desperation I could almost convince myself it’s a charming option, the stillness inside of me is deciding to rest on the side of surrender.

For me, surrender is not shiny or pretty or charming, but it is EASY when you feel THIS tired! Ease CAN be the best option. The world of course won’t tell you that, because mostly we are taught that we must push beyond our capacity, we must do our best (which by the way is usually just outside our human capacity) and show up ‘switched on’ with positivity at any cost. There seems to be little room for exhaustion, self connection, deep questions, honesty, self care, authentic expression or curiosity. Don’t get me wrong, there certainly is a time for pushing (like if you were exhausted and crossing a road and a bus was headed for you…) but in a lot of instances, kindness and compassion looks like ease and surrender, not necessarily shoving the hell out of yourself.

Life is big. Most people I know are moving at such a fast pace with an enormous load that there is very little spaciousness left in their moments. We tend to place our happiness in time, either at a future event when EVERYTHING is going to be exactly as we want it to be, or we place it in the past, where things WERE actually entirely wonderful (at least according to our limited memory). We forget our bodies are temporary rentals and that life doesn’t allow US to relentlessly push them. Nature doesn’t continue any cycle unendingly. Where in the world is it always summer? Or where in the ocean is it always high tide? Are we not bound by similar forces?

We modern humans juggle so many balls that living a healthy life is often out of our reach. We worry, have trouble sleeping, over eat, under eat then serve ourselves guilt and shame. We are so busy maintaining this demanding pace that we often don’t slow to reflect and smell the roses until life takes control of the reins. And when this happens, as it inevitably does, we are reminded how little of life is really within our control. I love that Buddhist saying, “relax, nothing is under control!” It may be a mind flip, however, regardless of our personal opinions, life does inevitably impose change, reminding us our CEO position is certainly not reliable nor secure. Sometimes change is wrapped in illness or loss, more times than not it involves suffering. My teacher Adyashanti often says suffering is the great awakener, and I’ve experienced this so many times in my own life. I’m not sure why but I tend to learn the most through hardship. Bless the people who learn and grow with joy and grace ‘rainbows and butterflies style’. Truth be known, I’ve rarely managed this. For some reason I’ve often needed hardcore super course sandpaper to prepare me for surrender.

Yet…

Not this time!

I’m intercepting the “it has to be hard and full of suffering habit” and inviting in a new way.

Yes i’m curious about where this road show is headed, but rest assured I’m not bulldozing my way into it!

Yesterday I spent 2 hours on my hands and knees picking up pebbles and rocks from a dirt floor soon to become our temporary living area.

-Insert crazy here.-

The past year has overflowed with richness for me. I’ve lost precious people, grieved, worked hard at inviting discernment and the word ‘NO’ into my life which translated into saying yes to a whole lot more and I finally married my beloved. It’s been a big beautiful messy year. And what I’ve discovered in a nut shell is this:

1) Time is shorter than I think. I don’t actually know how many more breaths I’ve got. Or how many more my loved ones have either. And I want to love all over them and the world with as much of my heart and time as possible.

2) Having a big beautiful house is an immeasurable blessing and also a shitload of work and distraction from what matters to me the most.

3)I want to play with my children, haphazardly with reckless abandon.

4) I suck at playing with my children when I spend my days saying YES to too many societal or worldly invitations and not enough NO’s to things that don’t really matter.

5) I also suck at living in disorder or chaos and am so habituated to work to ‘straighten things out’, and rather than playing or writing,  I loyally serve the tasks of my house.

6) I’m ready. I’m ready to let go. I’m ready to play. I’m ready to give through my vulnerable authentic heart. I’m ready to ‘not know’.

And from this place I asked my husband if he would consider moving out of our home and into a caravan so I could simplify life down to what is fully present in my heart, right now… And this looks like time and spaciousness with my precious family, and time to write and explore this beautiful country we live in.  (I also plan to finish this book and surrender it to the world while I’m still alive!!)

Being an adventurous soul he was on board straight away. As was our youngest – 4 years. But miss 8, while she loves camping and travel, is super reluctant to leave her school for a year. She loves it. Loves her guides, her friends, the opportunities the school community offers. I can highly recommend Montessori Education! And while she has visions of where she wants to travel and clearly sees the market stall she wants to create, her sensitivity cautions her to change. I honour that! I’ve been a fool many times over and dived deep. Yet it’s a dance to hold her precious and also trust the alive invitations of life. Questioning my intentions can be another well wrapped invitation to mother guilt. Reminder to self: Unwrapping mother guilt IS optional.

Where I’m sitting now is smack bang in the middle of a house half packed, overflowing with chaos, and a bush camp half created yet far from complete. And I’m exhausted. I landed back here a week ago after a few weeks retreat in the USA. Silence is wonderful for clarity and surrender. I’ve begun the climb out of one overflowing constant life into a simpler more spacious one. Yet I’m in the messy middle. My previous life is dismantled and offers little comfort, yet the new foundations have a way to go before they offer any stability.

Any sense of comfort, safety or sanity is not going to come from outside of me. It’s a complete shitfight everywhere I look. This middle gap asks a real lot of me and offers nothing in return. And I could shove, push, force myself relentlessly, yet the sense I get is this:

Yes, keep showing up, however hold your heart tenderly, it is ever so courageous and precious and now is not a time for doubt or discouragement. Encourage it to trust, but please, no force. Invite what ever is present, be it pretty, ugly or indifferent to come, sit and drink tea. Sure, you may be a complete nutter giving up your home, maybe your children won’t be able to stand playing with you and your book will be a total flop, but that aliveness that is guiding you now and has guided you countless other times before has offered a 100% survival rate so far. Lean into those odds. And keep listening. The silence is loud if you take a moment to acknowledge it. Let’s ‘check in’ in a few months and see how this new life change is unfolding.

And in the meantime, be brave and ever so kind to yourself. Hang in there woman, you are doing a great job.

You never know what’s in store.
Take care dear ones.

Love Xox

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