Remember in Pocahontas when she sings “you cant step into the same river twice”? Well, i think she was actually onto something.
I have been watching this river for two days now and while the vessel it fills, its banks, have only changed ever so slightly, at no point has the river flowing within ever been the same. Each moment the water is anew. And you know what else. In those two days i have not seen it struggle once with this fact. It just keeps flowing with what is. We swim in it, it flows around us. We wash in it, it surrenders and adjusts. The kids shift and move rocks and sand. It doesn’t argue.
Im super curious? Why as humans do we wrestle so much. Why do we continually fight with who we are? Why do we try to hold onto a fixed version of ourselves. Why is change so scary?
The adventure of being human is the richest i can remember. For some unknown reason I’ve spent large chunks of my life fighting against what is and also who i am, moment to moment. Questioning, wondering, doubting, wanting more. More of what? It’s always different. Somehow i got it into my head that happiness was a fixed address, true peace would come to stay. And if my life deviated off either of these two fixed points, i was doing something wrong.
From this point, things spiral down fast. With just a few quick sharp thoughts i can find myself in a land of shame and inadequacy. Of constant measurement, comparison and not enoughs. Yet the spiral out is equally as fast if i surrender.
Im not sure why we listen to our thoughts so much. Im also not sure why we think it is a requirement we have to believe what goes on up there in our precious little heads. I also wonder why we think ‘knowing’ the answers would bring the resolution we are seeking. Often knowing brings no resolution.
To be honest any joy, peace or happiness i can remember actually occurred in a gap of the almost relentless stream of mind chatter that occurs in my pretty little head.
For a very long time we have been naturally drawn to that which creates a gap in our rambling minds. Camp fires, a night sky filled with stars, the ocean, mountains, love, discovering an unexpected river. We search out these places, rest in them and remember a little about the truth of ourselves.
This morning my harvest of truth comes from the river. Its gentle suggestion to keep surrendering to the vessel of my life, regardless of how it presents, brings a salve of peace. While my life’s vessel may look similar each day, the river within is totally new.
Over time i guess i am becoming more like the river rocks in this picture. Yielding and surrendered. The willingness to allow ‘what is’ seems so much easier than the constant thrashing of earlier years. Oh i still thrash, i think that is part of this human existence for every human. What is different is that i rarely judge myself for this thrashing. I witness it, give it space to breathe, to be felt and at some point it passes. In my life i am entirely dedicated to gentleness, so Ill be darned if i am going to drag myself through a lemon bush over the antics of my mind. After all, i don’t make the thoughts come, how could i ever make them stop.
May the peace of the river find its way to you today. Enjoy you day beautiful people. I am off to enjoy the ever anew river of my life.