When you lose someone to suicide, life changes forever…. Yet somehow, Soni’s death continues to bring me alive… She somehow invites me to truly LIVE each day as the precious gift it is….

Truly LIVING is a gift i never expected to unravel out of grief…

It’s been a long time since you visited my dreams…. thank you for coming you luscious creature, this was my favourite visit yet xo

p.s. Poems are songs that whisper from the stars… so grateful this one fell from heaven xo

Last night
your joy was alive

Swirling it’s way through my heartbeat 

Leading me




Weaving life into my veins.

My footprints sparkled with starlight

Singing praises to the darkness and all its gifts exposed.


Once again

the mess that joined us,

Joy Dripping from our lips, 

The weight of a thousand stars burned all that was heavy and dead

And we were together again. 

Life lived through us

Play was the name of the game

your reckless laughter 

igniting my own

And Bending my bones 


My ears tuned in to the divinity I’d forgotten.

Ive missed you my friend

Your shade is my ice cream on a summer’s day

How did you know I’ve been

Yearning for 

the ‘me’ 

that was light and alive and no longer afraid of happiness.

Time had not touched you, 

The weariness I imagined was not a cloak you owned.

Sunshine revealed
no weight in your bones.

I’d forgotten how to dance like that. 


No shame,

no anger, 

Just oceans singing through our veins. 

I needed your visit.

I’d packed away that feeling,

The taste of fun,

But it looks good on my lips 

So I won’t be carrying around this dead coat 

or wearing it any longer. 

I lost it last night when you woke me from my slumber 


Awake now

And I won’t be searching for the darkness….